How to deal! Help!

Mariah_Aj11 · 07-01-2013, 06:24 PM

My boyfriend for about a year just left for bootcamp in Great Lakes and so far he's been gone for about 5 days. I'm definitely in need of advice from a navy girlfriend who has been in this situation before. Im feeling the separation anxiety major because we practically spent all day everyday together. I miss him so much! Can anyone give me some advice on how to get through his bootcamp

Thanks

Auridan · 07-01-2013, 07:05 PM

I hope you don't mind hearing advice from someone who isn't a Navy girlfriend, but boot camp is only the beginning of the stress you're going to encounter. Unless he's a reservist, or you're moving around the country with him, you're going to have quite a lot of time without him. And when he goes on deployment, you're looking at several months straight.

There's nothing your worrying will do for him except make him feel guilty about putting you through it. You need to remember how to be a whole person without him. Pick up a hobby, go to school, learn to play the harp, hike the Appalachian Trail. Keep yourself busy and have a life of your own, then you'll have that much more to share with him when you're together again.

Good luck.

Luckiethirteen · 07-01-2013, 10:36 PM

I agree completely with Auridan

As a navy wife, the key to keeping yourself sane is keeping yourself busy. School, working, volunteering, just about anything that allows you to have a life for yourself. Sitting around waiting for a phone call or text is just going to drive you insane, and drive him insane because he is going to have enough to deal with. My husband is always having to work longer, overnight, or for days straight. You do not want to be that girlfriend or wife that is nagging them about coming home or spending more time with you. I can promise you that work isn't where they want to be. Support him, encourage him, be there for him, but be your own person.

FutureIC · 07-01-2013, 10:37 PM

Not a Navy girlfriend but a Navy boyfriend... Auridan covered a lot of it but another important thing is to write him letters as much as possible you have no idea how much that will help him even if it's something as little as telling him about your day.

sweetmtn · 07-01-2013, 11:13 PM

What everyone has said is very true..one thing I will add, DO NOT SEND HIM LETTERS COMPLAINING ON HOW YOU MISS HIM! Always send uplifting letters, fun letters, tell him what you are doing, his friends are doing, etc. Yes you can say you miss him in a letter, but make sure he knows you are handling it well and that you will see each other soon enough!

Mariah_Aj11 · 07-02-2013, 08:07 AM

Thank you to everyone for the advice. It definitely does help and I know what to do now. I really appreciate it

if you have any other encouraging words I'd love to hear from you!

Thank you!

07-01-2013, 06:24 PM	#1
Mariah_Aj11 Newbie Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 7 Rep Power: 6	How to deal! Help! My boyfriend for about a year just left for bootcamp in Great Lakes and so far he's been gone for about 5 days. I'm definitely in need of advice from a navy girlfriend who has been in this situation before. Im feeling the separation anxiety major because we practically spent all day everyday together. I miss him so much! Can anyone give me some advice on how to get through his bootcamp Thanks

07-01-2013, 07:05 PM	#2
Auridan Active Duty Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Sea level Posts: 713 Rep Power: 156	I hope you don't mind hearing advice from someone who isn't a Navy girlfriend, but boot camp is only the beginning of the stress you're going to encounter. Unless he's a reservist, or you're moving around the country with him, you're going to have quite a lot of time without him. And when he goes on deployment, you're looking at several months straight. There's nothing your worrying will do for him except make him feel guilty about putting you through it. You need to remember how to be a whole person without him. Pick up a hobby, go to school, learn to play the harp, hike the Appalachian Trail. Keep yourself busy and have a life of your own, then you'll have that much more to share with him when you're together again. Good luck. __________________ If you're not happy with it, fix it, because ain't nobody gonna fix it for you.

07-01-2013, 11:13 PM	#5
sweetmtn Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: N. CA Posts: 3,787 Rep Power: 390	What everyone has said is very true..one thing I will add, DO NOT SEND HIM LETTERS COMPLAINING ON HOW YOU MISS HIM! Always send uplifting letters, fun letters, tell him what you are doing, his friends are doing, etc. Yes you can say you miss him in a letter, but make sure he knows you are handling it well and that you will see each other soon enough! __________________ Proud Military Mom, Navy Vet Justin(MM2n), and Army Vet SSgt Clayton "*Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude*." Thomas Jefferson

07-02-2013, 08:07 AM	#6
Mariah_Aj11 Newbie Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 7 Rep Power: 6	:) Thank you to everyone for the advice. It definitely does help and I know what to do now. I really appreciate it if you have any other encouraging words I'd love to hear from you! Thank you!

07-01-2013, 10:36 PM	#3
Luckiethirteen Newbie Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Washington Posts: 24 Rep Power: 9	I agree completely with Auridan As a navy wife, the key to keeping yourself sane is keeping yourself busy. School, working, volunteering, just about anything that allows you to have a life for yourself. Sitting around waiting for a phone call or text is just going to drive you insane, and drive him insane because he is going to have enough to deal with. My husband is always having to work longer, overnight, or for days straight. You do not want to be that girlfriend or wife that is nagging them about coming home or spending more time with you. I can promise you that work isn't where they want to be. Support him, encourage him, be there for him, but be your own person.

07-01-2013, 10:37 PM	#4
FutureIC Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: TSC Great Lakes Posts: 32 Rep Power: 10	Not a Navy girlfriend but a Navy boyfriend... Auridan covered a lot of it but another important thing is to write him letters as much as possible you have no idea how much that will help him even if it's something as little as telling him about your day.